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2012-12-12T07:51:00.000-08:00

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What Men Really Want In Modern Relationships

2011-12-13T14:19:00.000-08:00

Women often say that men confuse them and that they are unsure what a man is really looking for. They have tried to please them in the past and it hasn't worked so no, the man can concentrate on pleasing them or leave. If the media is to be believed, many women don't care what a man is looking for anymore because they have been empowered by their own sexuality and are comfortable in their new role as sexually liberated career woman in charge of their own destiny. In which case, as long as the man wants them, that is fine.

It doesn't matter whether that view is actually true or not. What is true is that the modern man is increasingly struggling to find his place in the world. The Armed Forces and Space programs quite rightly have very highly qualified career women working in their departments and in most aspects of industry, women excel. The old male bastions are crumbling and with them their innate self respect as well as their understanding of how they should act and what they desire.

Any woman reading this may say well it's a problem for men and they should deal with it. Absolutely, but you cannot expect miracles instantly. Generations of history dictating a man's role and function cannot be decided and altered in the space of 20 years without some fallout. Few can argue against the excitement felt by women as their empowerment continues but at the same time, one must expect issues to coincide with this. And one of those as I said is the question of understanding what the modern man is looking for.

Men have started to evolve and are starting to grasp the fact that their role may not be as it once was. "Starting" is the operative word because this does not mean that there aren't large swathes of the world where men insist on being the breadwinner and women should still remain at home rearing children. It is going to take a long time to change the world. However in our western cities a change is in full swing. Men know that to find a mate they are going to have to work harder than ever before and they are aware that women call the shots far more than ever before. But this doesn't essentially change what a man is looking for.

Okay so what is a man seeking?

First of all a man is seeking a love-interest. This may surprise many women but men like to love and they like being loved in return. The problem is that many women come across as impassioned and cold. It is not easy to find a loving woman and it is very noticeable how many men try and hang on when they think they have found their Miss Right.

Men are seeking a woman who is attractive to them. Women may despair that men can be so shallow and that looks could matter so much but be careful. Men aren't necessarily looking for a catwalk model and many men don't like women who weigh 80lbs. But men do want a woman who takes pride in their appearance (though not excessively). Men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good and I don't believe any man who says otherwise.

Men are looking for a trustworthy girl, someone they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them. This may sound like an odd thing to say, but the fact is, some women are not trustworthy and many are not faithful either. So many in fact that men are increasingly wary. That kiss at a Christmas party may not count, or the flirtatious behavior with the gorgeous barman and in fact its all great fun and part of a woman's character. But reverse the situation and as a woman, you hate him doing the same. A man can never forgive a woman being unfaithful and so he is looking for someone who he really does trust.

Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be a willing sharer in home life. Women with a sociable lifestyle are attractive because they can be relied upon to keep the social diary running in a long term relationship.

Men are seeking women who are feminine gentle and kind because deep down the qualities that make a woman a great mother are an attraction in themselves. I am not suggesting that the man himself needs mothering, though some do, it is more the point that men seek the attributes in women that point to someone who would make a great mother to future offspring.

Men want women with a great sense of humor. Women often come across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details. You will sometimes hear mention of a girl who is 'one of the boys'. What this means is that she is able to fit in with their humor and is sociable and fun to be with. Such women are extremely attractive to many men. Men want to have a good time and relax when not working and so their ideal partners are women who are able to do the same.

Men are looking for women who retain their femininity and and are caring and kind. In recent years, aping men may be a female fashion statement, but it doesn't make them attractive. Whilst every woman in the world burps and farts and has the right to drink pints of beer, it doesn't necessarily attract them to the opposite sex. Women can get angry and say well men will just have to get used to it, but the issue is that they don't. They can just choose not to go for women who act in the same way as their drinking buddies.

Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men in their behavior, career and set about trying to alter them and mould them. This is a crucial mistake. Men can be manipulated yes, but they see their partnerships as support systems. The best relationships work both ways in terms of support. Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is too quick to criticize then she may lose her man.

Men don't like angry women who shout. They want a woman who can debate and converse and is able to discuss. Communication is king. A fiery passionate temperament may have made you interesting and challenging on day one. But by day 500 it holds no glory whatsoever.

Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. Men are generally lazy in relationships once they feel they're in secure territory. When a man is challenged so he does something about it. If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged.

Men are generally more reserved about sex than women. This is my experience is a fact. Men know what they like in bed and tend to stick to it. The adventurous sexual appetite in most men isn't there even if they are convinced it is. Men in reality are quite conservative. Sexually adventurous has nothing to do with having lots of partners and more to do with the things they will try with the same partner. In most test cases I have conducted, it is the man who looks for a quiet time in the bedroom and the woman who ultimately becomes bored.

Men want a woman who will commit to them. Though increasingly this is hard to find, it doesn't take away the wish. Men want a girlfriend who they can share with and trust and be open with. Commitment is not a one way street and therefore men are struggling to find the levels of commitment they found previously. But the need is still there.

Men don't want to be alone.

This column can easily fire a great debate. The fact is, a modern man is seeking a reliable, sexy, single girl with whom he can have a long term relationship with. He wants to have fun, share his life and ultimately settle down. There are a few long term bachelors but not that many. The problem guys have is that the world has changed. They don't necessarily want to have children and settle down straight away, but it will come. They do seek self-respect even if they are not the primary breadwinner and they seek respect from their partner.

While women become increasingly strong in their new roles in society, it is worth remembering that it takes, and always will take, two to tango.

GottaFindLove.com

Single Parents & Dating

2011-12-12T07:45:00.000-08:00

How to navigate the dating scene as a single parent

This is a complex subject and I can't do it justice here but I offer some thoughts. Dating single parents should not be the problem it is and things are starting to move in the right direction at last. Being a single mother or father has never been easy when looking for a new partner. You are seen to be carrying a lot of baggage that a single person doesn't really have to take onboard if there are lots of single people around without children. That's the basic truth. In other words you are second choice to someone without kids in the largest section of single groups.

To be realistic, a proportion of eligible people are lost to you if you have children, for many reasons. For a start you will not trust everyone you meet and will have some specific criteria your new partner must match with for the safety of your family. Then some people will not want to have children for personal reasons and so they would not make suitable partners. Then others just wouldn't be suited to your family environment, maybe through career or outlook. Also worth noting is that many people do look for people with children for a variety of reasons, maybe because they have children too.

Yet its important to remember that we can easily see single people as having the whole singles market to themselves when in fact there are limitations on all of us. We may be short, or bald, or fat or thin or many things that some people don't want. In which case no one has it easy in the dating game.

The main problem with being a single parent attempting to date is one of image. Not your image of yourself, the image that other people have of you. You may not be a Valium-chomping, shopping bag- carrying, crying baby-cradling single mum, but its possible that others see that image in their head. Tag that along side the thoughts of a ready-made family with instant serious responsibilities and one can see where the problems may lay.

The fact is, being a single parent is a lonely business. Your social life is very restricted unless your ex has a lot of regular responsibility and custody of the children. You tend to stay in in the evenings and tend to your children as more than you do to your own needs. Soon enough you have become isolated and when you feel ready to date, its tricky to know where to begin. Worst still even if you do get a night out occasionally will you be able to meet anyone who wants to date you when you have children. And will you want to date them?

I went to see About a Boy last year starring Hugh Grant and I could identify with his character in that there are many single mums I know who are desperate to find a nice guy to date. But that doesn't mean to say it is easy pickings for any man that strolls along. I have found single parents have very definite views about who they would like to meet and who would fit into their lives. Being available simply isn't enough.

Many of my friends are single parents and the most common complaint is that people don't seem to be interested in them once they admit they have children who live at home. It's almost like it is too much hassle for a prospective date. However my single parents friends are the most caring, organized, gentle and forward looking people I have ever met. Most have weekends free due to their ex partners having access rights and so it is not as if parents are tied as a single person may believe. Some of my friends though pointed out that they have met single potentials who don't really understand that they have parental responsibilities and there is a fair amount of criticism of single people not having the necessary levels of understanding. The fact is, if you date a single parents you do need to make adjustments.

I asked a few single male friends of mine what they thought and they said they would not discount single parents if the number of children was manageable. What they meant was that if you have one or two children that appears to be the acceptable level of take-on future responsibility. However one of my lovely single female friends has 4 children and she felt that that was somewhat off-putting for many prospective partners. She went on to say that she now viewed having a relationship would happen once her children grew up but not before.

The focus should be on you as a person and your domestic situation shouldn't matter. This may reveal why some single parents feel it is necessary to conceal their domestic situation until a little way down the line. "It's not like I am lying, it is just that I am not going to be too specific" said one female friend. Revealing that you have a child later on once you have hooked your mate doesn't appear to cause too many problems but I would be very cautious of that approach as it smacks of deceit and trying to hook someone.

With the deterioration of marriage in modern society and more people living together it is a major fact of life that there are a lot of single parents out there. They have already demonstrated their domestic skills, their fertility, their organizational abilities and their ability to cope under pressure. Therefore you can argue that a single parent is almost top pick amongst out ever increasing pool of singles. Single parents have a lot going for them and I often now believe it is simply a case of overcoming the initial years of isolation and getting back into the dating game with a degree of confidence.

Things to feel good about:

Coping as a single parent is a huge skill
You have proven your domestic abilities
You have proven your organizational responsibilities
You are a great home maker
You are a great mother or father
You are caring, kind and responsible
Single people often desire to be like you

The Internet has revolutionized dating from home. Now you can chat with people you like 24 hours a day and build up a relationship online before meeting when appropriate. Furthermore you can select what type of people you would like to meet through the online search facilities so that you can zoom in on the kind of person who would fit in with your parental lifestyle. Things are looking up.

Make dating easier for yourself with these tips:

If you are finding meeting people difficult think about the inherent safety of using an Internet dating agency like LoveBrowser.com. You can chat safely from home and make new friends.

Do decide what your dating goals are. If the date is for company and fun enjoy yourself. If you are looking at your date from the point of view of prospective father or mother then be clear about that

Do ask lots of questions and be straight up about having children. Never pretend you don't just so that you can get a date.

If your children are old enough to understand, do tell them that you are dating.

Take your time before introducing a prospective new family member but make sure that you do keep your kids well informed

Do stick to your dating criteria and don't be swayed just because you are having a good time.

Don't forget that if your date doesn't have children they don't necessarily want to chat about yours constantly. That's natural.

Don't talk about your children in detail until you are very comfortable with the person you are dating.

If someone cannot grasp your role as mother or father and the commitments that entails, dump them swiftly.

Make sure that your prospective partner understands the shared responsibilities of being part of your family

If you find that your date doesn't take to your children you have probably been dating the wrong person for you.

If you don't want further children later be clear from the outset. If you have 2 children and you are 39, enough may be enough.

Do allow your children to have a view of your date but do not let their views influence your own judgment. A child may be jealous of losing attention.

GottaFindLove.com

Are Women Solar Powered?

2011-12-11T19:25:00.001-08:00

The sunshine and warm weather has arrived which heralds Spring/Summer here in the West and suddenly the local high street or shopping mall turns into a high-fashion catwalk for super-vixens. Throughout the dark months the only thing on view was tumbleweed or snow. For years now I have wondered whether women are in fact solar-powered. In the dark days of deepest winter as a man you will be hard-pressed to spot a super-babe unless you are living with one already. Streets are full of black-coated shadows with hats and scarves and you wonder where all the girls have gone.

Suddenly, the first warm day of the year arrives and you realize that your healthy fully-paid for beer belly is a shocking reminder of the last 6 months (lifetime ? Ed.) of indulgence and you need to sort yourself out. XXXL baggy T-shirts may see you through the next few months but with sudden appearance of that orange thing in the sky, your local public areas become a temple to female beauty. The question is, where do they all come from? For half the year, these goddesses are no where to be found. It is always possible they have been wintering in Antigua or Ibiza but for sure they don't work in your office or that of any other male buddy.

Quickly you come to the conclusion that either these girls are shipped in for the summer to drive you crazy, or that they must be a figment of your imagination. Its a perennial mystery. For a guy, getting ready for summer is a laborious task with the gradual coloring of the skin and a lazy shift to shorts and T-shirts. Women however appear to turn into sun-worshiping supermodels at the drop of a hat.

I remember working in one city where the first sunny day was always greeted by the male team in the office heading for the best area of the city for lunch just to watch the girls go by. For months we had been starved of anything to look at at all, and within hours of a good weather report we see perfect women appear in all-over tans, strappy tops, perfect hair and this years' designer shades. They exude confidence, look spectacular, there is no gym work to be done, and they could eat you for breakfast.

The answer is of course that these beauties simply must be powered by the sun. During the dark season they hibernate or lock themselves away simply to appear like butterflies when you are most off your guard. Whereas as you have braved the wind, rain and snow to watch every winter sporting contest on offer, becoming more pasty-skinned than snow covered peaks, these perfect specimens of woman kind have been plotting and planning.

You see whilst most men like to react to situations, women are far more thoughtful and prepared. They plan their wardrobes by the season and know what they will be wearing for the summer before you have even ordered the Thanksgiving turkey. Women are indeed proactive, hence your dilemma. These girls have been there all along, working hard in the gym through the long dark days, working on a pre-summer tan and caring about their appearance. If they haven't then they are still far more equipped for seasonal changes than men ever will be.

It is certainly true that women feel cold more than men. Guys, you know how when you are too hot because your ex-girlfriend used to attach herself whilst asleep to your body like a limpet so that whilst she snoozed, your combined body-temperature was the same as the surface of the sun? You remember allowing one leg to reach out from the sheets to act as a cooling aid for the rest of your quickly-melting body? Well exactly. Girls generally don't like cold weather so I am assuming they hibernate.

So when the sun finally does shine and the temperature rises, you feel you have been taken by surprise by the local mayor shipping in blonde models from Sweden. I must confess that I don't know where these great-looking girls come from and I certainly know that I have never worked in a winter office full of them. It is possible that every city has a huge office where all the top looking girls work all winter. But for now it remains a government secret. But I do accept that as men, we tend to keep our eyes closed for half the year. If you are lucky enough to live in warmer climes then I am sure you don't meet this scenario as often but certainly for European men, its a perennial mystery we cannot explain.

There is something amazing about dating in the warm sunshine. Everyone feels more sociable, possibly more attractive and certainly more healthy. We go outdoors more, we socialize more, we care about how we look more. With lighter nights we stay out later and travel more and because of all these things we meet more people and consequently encounter more attractive girls per square foot. So take advantage of the season.

Whilst the Fall is romantic and love in the snow is glorious, it is in the summertime that we flower best. Therefore guys perhaps this year or next, if you are dating you could anticipate summer just a little earlier than usual and think about how you are going to look when those warm nights finally arrive. Be proactive like the girls we ogle.Wouldn't it be good if a woman writer could write an article on why all the attractive guys always appear in the summer.

But for now I stick with my original point. I firmly do believe girls may be solar-powered. Just don't let them know the secret is out.

GottaFindLove.com

A Free Collection of Dating and Relationship Articles

2011-12-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

A Free Collection of Dating and Relationship Articles - Darren G. Burton

This is a collection of articles aimed at both men and women giving tips and advice on dating and relationships.

Tips For Ending a Bad Date

2008-07-01T01:44:00.000-07:00

The guy that you have fancied for ages has asked you out on a date, and you've spent all day getting ready. Then when he turns up, he looks like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards, and that's just his hair! He's wearing a tatty t-shirt and an old pair of jeans, while you are all made up. It`s too late to get changed, so you leave with him anyway. Where does he take you? Yes you've got it - to your local pub or bar, where he spends have the night talking to his buddies, and the other half talking about them. Then to top it off, he takes you for Macdonalds. The whole date was a complete disaster. He is not the guy you thought he was, and you don't know why you ever fancied him in the first place.

So what do you do when it is time to say good night? How do you avoid the end of the date kiss? And how do you let him down gently without being to harsh?

It is obvious you have no intention of seeing him again, so don't beat about the bush. Just get straight to the point. Sometimes being nice just doesn't work. Being too nice to a guy that you have no interest in, can lead to mixed signals, giving them the wrong idea and sometimes unwanted advances.

Making your exit through a toilet window is not the way to escape the situation. Neither is popping to the loo with your bag and coat and escaping out of the front door. It works and is useful as a desperate measure if the date is really bad, but it is better to deflect the situation and call the date to an end amicably. Leaving someone standing is a bad way to work and should only occur if you are feeling deeply uncomfortable.

First off - thank him for a nice date, and explain (gently) that you don't feel that there is any chemistry. You may prefer to do this by phone at a later stage. If he asks for a second chance, and asks you to go on another date with him; you must be firm with him. If you don't want to have any kind of relationship with the guy, then you have to make it quite clear.

Don't tell him that you want to be friends, unless you are really serious about being his friend and actually believe it can happen. If you don't want to see him again, make this very clear and avoid any contact with him at all. Even giving in to a good night kiss will send out the wrong signal and that is the last thing you want.

Men are not good at reading signals and mistake many gestures you make towards them. They can take rejection badly but being cruel to be kind is the way forward. You need to keep a cool head but make things clear. If you were going out as a friend in the first place you should make this clear in advance otherwise you will end up trying to explain his advances are unwanted later and he will want to know why. Dating for men is as tricky as it is for women and therefore you owe it to yourself and your date to end things amicably, but swiftly if it is simply not what you are looking for.

That way both people can move forward.

GottaFindLove.com

The Search For Mr. Right

2008-06-01T12:04:00.000-07:00

Does Mr. Right exist? Is he out there somewhere? Will I find him?

Mr. Right is a key subject for many women and an inspiration of hope on a daily basis. Yes he may well exist, yes he is probably out there and yes you WILL find him! Of course in all our lives we have goals, aims, ambitions and desires small and large. It is these landmarks and goalposts that keep us positive and busy. It is what makes us human. In recent years the terms Mr. Right and Miss Right have become over used and devalued. Almost as if we have a chart on our wall , an extensive tick list, a resume of specifics that the person in question must submit to get his foot through the door of the "potentials" interview.

Most of us would deny we are that bad and hope that chance will take a hand in bringing Mr. Right to us. Yes we accept that we have a small but insignificant "list" and yes we accept that there are some 'definites' on it which are nonnegotiable, but they are fairly minor. Or are they? The fact of the matter is that as the decades have passed by, we have become far more sophisticated, as humans, as individuals, as lovers and mates. We know how to orgasm, we have a good salary and a nice home and are well educated in the ways of the world. Therefore it is only fair that we seek someone to match, to fit in, to adapt, to accompany, to facilitate. And there lays the issue.

The fact is that Mr. Right also has a tick list, an agenda, only a small one of course, but a list all the same, and he is ticking off your assets as we speak. He wants someone young, someone well educated, someone good looking and in shape. We are indignant, how shallow we cry. Typical man we sigh. Yet are we any better? Look at your list and look very carefully at what or who constitutes your Mr. Right. And then look again. Are you sure first of all that your tick list is achievable? Yes, or are you willing to negotiate? Okay so you are happy with your list. Then what?

Well now, are you willing to go out and get your Mr. Right or are you waiting for him to come to you? Many women tell me they are waiting for Mr. Right. The word "waiting" concerns me. By waiting it means men come to you by chance, perhaps by design and you tick off their assets, your check them out and then cast off anyone who doesn't match your list. Maybe you do, but remember this my friends, Mr. Right is looking for his Miss Right? How much work have you put into being Miss Right or should he accept you as you are and fit in around you? If he did slot in to your life would he really be Mr. Right or an accouterment, an asset, a trinket that you would get bored of?

The thing I am asked by eligible men more than anything these days is, "where have all the nice girls gone". Think about those words carefully. These men are not asking where the doormats went, the punch bags, the housewife slaves. Not at all. No what they are asking is where all the women went who don't have a huge checklist as long as their admittedly muscular arms. Most men simply want someone to love, someone who they can dote on in their own ways and who they can feel special and share with. The problem for them is that they are not finding it because they are constantly under 'resume-pressure'. They are told they must adapt and fit in, they are trying to fulfill their part of the list bargain and then they are faced with the Miss Rights out there.

As a potential Miss Right you owe it to yourself to complete a few tasks. Take a long hard look at your list and ask yourself exactly how flexible you are being. Secondly look at who your Mr. Right is and how truthfully obtainable they are. Thirdly, don't kid yourself about your own potentials but don't compromise on ideals either. Fourthly, bring yourself out into the open and go after your Mr. Right.

Don't play the waiting game because you do not want to spend the rest of your life knowing your Mr. Perfect is married to someone else when he could have been yours. And finally, compromise is the key in reality, for all the things Mr. right must be, try and balance that with attempting to be something your Mr. Right doesn't want to miss.

GottaFindLove.com

How to Dress for a First Date - Men

2008-05-01T08:29:00.000-07:00

Things You’ll Need:
Men's Dress Belts
Men's Dress Shirts
Men's Dress Shoes
Men's Dress Sweaters
Men's Dress Pants
Neckties
Men's Sport Coat
Flower Bouquets
Breath Fresheners
Cologne
Men's Watches

Step 1: Decide with your partner what tone you want to set for the event, and whether it is a formal, casual or specific event such as a swim party.

Step 2: Make an honest impression and a statement about your style and attitude at a casual dinner or first date.

Step 3: Pick from the classic basics unless you have a specific side of yourself to express. For most guys, that means khakis, jeans or casual dress slacks.

Step 4: Choose Oxford button-down shirts in blue, white or patterns. They pair up well with most pants and are attractive without being fussy. They layer well over a T-shirt and under a sweater, too.

Step 5: Show off those pecs in a knit shirt or T-shirt for comfort and versatility.

Step 6: Wear a dress shirt and tie, with or without a sport coat, to convey your attention to detail and your civility while still being casual.

Step 7: Decide on your footwear. Athletic shoes are accepted in most places but generally oxfords, boots or loafers look better for a date. Sandals can be clean-cut, counterculture or sporty.

Step 8: Wear neutral colors if you want your conversation to do the talking.

Step 9: Remember that personal grooming says more about you than your clothes.

GottaFindLove.com

Do Bad Guys Always Get The Girl?

2008-04-01T21:18:00.000-07:00

If we are to believe the movies, the ruthless tough guy, Mr. Bad Boy, always gets the girl!! If we remember the bad guys at school and college with the best looking babes it appears that the movies could be right. The best looking girls always seem to love the bad guys. Maybe because the best looking guys always became the bad guys ? Everywhere we tend to see bad guys and nice girls, we see fools and meatheads with the girls of our fantasies. In the mall we see our flaxen haired goddesses with America's Most Wanted. Is it nature at work, is it us, what is going wrong? You see men are confused. Men like to refer to stereo types and work from them. We are told that we need to be a hero and a tough guy, but then we are told we need to be in touch with our sensitive sides and be a modern man holding the baby.

Meanwhile the man down the street who treats his girlfriends mean, never calls, is rude and unhelpful and shows little respect appears to have a fan club developing. Life my friends is often unfair. Okay let us look at what is going on with this scenario.

Interest. Yes, interest. Bad guys are interesting, they do interesting things. They have strayed from the straight-and-narrow and are a law unto themselves. They do what they want. They go where they will and they answer to no one. They are interesting. Tow the line, do as you are told and you are dull. Mavericks are interesting, straight guys are not. Generally.

Bad Guys are a challenge, we all love a challenge. Women love a challenge just like guys. If something is a challenge the end results must surely be worthwhile? Of course and bad guys are a challenge. The girls who go after a bad guy want to keep them to themselves and will do a great deal to keep hold. The more you want them, the greater there is a chance they may walk away. Women love to feel good about themselves and getting their bad guy, at least for a while, satisfies that urge. This appeals to some people and the greater the danger of loosing a bad guy, the greater the effort to keep them. There may be a lesson there.

Bad guys are confident and self assured. They know what they are about and don' really care what others think. They are their own men and don't need others to prop them up. Some can become almost caricatures of themselves but that doesn't make them any less attractive. Bad guys don't have to be in shape, just look at James Galdofini from The Sopranos. Somewhat out of shape if Mr. Soprano doesn't mind me saying, but immensely attractive all the same.

What have we got if we combine these facets. Power, strength of character, confidence, a maverick nature and an immensely interesting personality. That equals sexy. Is it any wonder therefore that such types of guys often get the gals. It doesn't mean to say that we like them and it doesn't mean to say that this is fair or a good thing. But it can be natures way.

I am not in any way suggesting that we should all be Mr. Bad Guy. No not at all. What I am saying is that there are lessons to be learned here. What is attractive can be modified and added to our social arsenal of dating weaponry. It is first the way you perceive yourself that matters. If you can increase your confidence levels, get your career on the right tracks, excel in what you do and be your own man within the confines of your working life then this will boost your attractiveness. You don't need to go round being bad, but you can be a bit more deliberate in your actions, a little less available and a little more enigmatic. This will boost your interest factor and again help in your attractiveness.

The modern dating game is highly complex and courting rituals can be a minefield. Go back to basics and analyze within yourself what is it that you think partners like and how can you match of yourself to those qualities. Changing just a few small things could make the world of difference.

GottaFindLove.com

Dating Rules For Men

2008-03-01T21:14:00.000-08:00

You are a guy who knows how to date, you are a guy who hasn't dated in years, you are a guy who has never been successful with women. Whatever your situation there are some common dating rules to follow when venturing into the dating jungle. These rules are simply to protect your emotional state and to ensure even handed success. Women are trained from day one in the art of dating warfare. They have a physical and emotional arsenal that you may never hope to match. But don't be outgunned, be prepared my friends as the dating battle isn't over yet buddy.

1. Look your best. Get some decent clothes and shoes. Women always look at your shoes even if the last time you checked your Nike's out was 1996. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Don't just buy one outfit, sort out your entire wardrobe. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her? Oh yes and buy a good well tailored suit, there is no excuse not to.

2. Get your hygiene and styling sorted out. Down to the barbers and sort out your hair, get a decent style if possible. If you don't have much hair still get down to the salon and either get your head shaved or something you can handle. Then it is off to the shops with you for good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Yes that means some expense. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. Get into a regular showering routine and smell good always. Women appreciate it.

3. Sort out your job if you have one. Women want a man who has some ambition in life so coasting along as a skateboard instructor is generally not going to win you a real catch (by the way I love skateboarding!). Any job is better than none, but knuckle down and sort out some direction in your life. Change job if need be but at least try and look like you you have something of a career. If you have a manual job, at least have some plans to work for yourself. If you already do, then you are on the right track but know what you are about work wise and have some idea of your future because they will be asking questions about your prospects even if they pretend it isn't important. It is.

4. Get your knowledge levels up. Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity and laziness is no excuse either. Current affairs are important in showing you know all about the world outside. If you travel a lot then this will help tremendously, if you don't have plans to travel, get some. Being able and willing to sort out vacations is essential in the grand scheme of things.

5. Do not extol the virtues of drinking in the bar 5 nights a week. This will never win any fair princess's heart. If you love your booze sort yourself out as there are other things in life too. Taking your lady for a drink is fine, but give them the impression that you live in there will get you absolutely nowhere - fast.

6. If you love your sport then fine,. If sport is a religion you may have a problem but everything by degrees guys. If you are serious about dating then ramming the subject of soccer, ball games or football down your date's throat will put them off in record time. Sport to the uninitiated is completely boring and shows not only sheep mentality to a woman but lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of girls love sport too and that is fine but don't make your passion into a one-sided one.

9. Never expect sex on a first date. If all you are after is sex you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams there is nothing more sexy than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman so do it instead of thinking with your balls.

10. Sort out your educational knowledge of manners, courtesy and chivalry. A woman likes being treated well, particularly with respect. Lose the coarse language, the swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to eat in a top restaurant, know about fashion and jewelry and in particular flowers. Know how to hold a door open for a woman, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and you should not go wrong.

11. Start listening and stop talking. Keep your date interested but don't turn into a one man entertainer. She will bore of you quickly because she wants to talk about herself too. Listen to things she tells you about her and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen to her. Remembering things she told you will impress her by the bucketful. Fact.

12. Give up smoking now.

13. Lean to dance even if you have two left flat feet. Women love to dance and dancing is a physical contact sport (or can be). It is also romantic and sexy. You can be the world's worst dancer, I don't care. But if you stay seated when she is on that dance floor you may as well not exist. If you can join Salsa and dancing classes all the better. You don't need to be Travolta but you should have an idea of the basics of rhythm. Get started today.

GottaFindLove.com

Confidence in Dating: Why You Should Become More Confident

2008-02-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

I once read the results of a survey in a leading woman's magazine that said the number 1 most attractive quality in a man was confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It took some time to sink in as to what this really meant. Did it mean grabbing the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards whilst I kissed those luscious lips of hers? Did it mean turning into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did it mean turning up at the door of the girl next door and whisking her off to Paris for the weekend, though we had hardly spoken? What did they mean by confidence? The quest was on it find out.

Every woman I have asked will answer in a different vein so the answer isn't all things to all men. Confidence, it appears, is in the eye of the beholder. Even worse, confidence can easily be misconstrued so one has to tread carefully. The point is not confidence itself, but its easier to define by its opposite, fear. Fear in men is not attractive. Fear defines a man as not knowing his own value, lacking a feeling of self worth, not being sure of his abilities, lacking in presence and determination. This I may add is very different from justifiable fear that we all face.

Okay, back to confidence. Men are attractive when they are confident said one friend. Another told me, "ooh a confident man makes me go weak at the knees". So I pressed them further. A confident man it seems is one who carries with him a self-assuredness that is most definitely not arrogance. It is a state where a man feels sure of himself and his abilities, knows what he is about, knows himself for what he can do,, what he may be able to do, what he may fail at but does not fear to try. A confident man is in control of his destiny, his future, his career, his day. And to many women that is very attractive.

After all, a woman is looking for a partner, one who will not only match with her mentally and physically, but someone who can drive her onwards, someone who has ambition and vitality, someone who can pass hi self assuredness on to her. A man who is confident is sexy because he is comfortable with himself, he is in control and he is able to make decisions, good decisions. He is confident in the choices he makes and in choosing you (maybe really you selected him), he passes this feeling of being special on to you. Being selected by the right man can be very sexy indeed.

If you are going to date the beauty in the corner and father her children then running away is not a good start, neither is feeling bad about yourself and failing to be able to hold a decent conversation. Far too many men decide in advance of an approach if they are worth of a woman's attentions or not. All too often they believe they are not. Except where alcohol is involved. Men in bars exude confidence, but they also exude beer breath as well! No the fact is that guys who lack confidence prejudge most situations and inevitably take themselves out of the dating fray before it ever happens, hoping, strangely, that the woman will make the first move.

The fact is, the confident men more often than not get the girl, because the confident man has something about him. I know plenty of good looking handsome men who are afraid to approach women so its not necessarily about looks. No, its about something within. Confidence is about self respect and self understanding. It comes from understanding what you yourself are about and when this happens a sexy man reaches out. Often lack of confidence in men is because of physique and yet it is an issue so easy to fix. 12 weeks in a gym will change a man's life. A fit man is a confident man. Dress is also something that instills confidence. No man has an excuse for not dressing reasonably smart these days as fashion for men is everywhere.

Ultimately we all lose confidence from time to time. People can take our confidence away at work or at home, in partnerships and on our own. Ultimately though these are passing phases. If a man can do one thing for himself in the dating game, that is to learn about his own confidence levels in an honest way and then go about doing something to increase them. Feel good about yourself guys and someone will feel good about you.

GottaFindLove.com

Gay Online Dating Tips

2008-01-01T14:18:00.000-08:00

With hundreds of different gay personals sites and chat rooms containing millions of gays and lesbians looking for companionship and perhaps even more, we often get carried away with interacting with different individuals. However, we tend to forget that we are talking with anonymous people and we may even regret that our online date is not actually the person he or she seems to be. It is best to raise your guard and follow these safety tips while chatting or exchanging e-mails.

Take Your Time:
Do not rush into meeting your online date personally right away. Take your time to get to know the person and ask as may detailed questions as possible before meeting him or her. Sometimes the Internet makes certain people to pretend as someone else, so watch carefully for inconsistencies or strange behavior. If you sense in your gut that there is something fishy about the other person, then discontinue chatting with him or her.

Protect Your Identity And Personal Information:
Never disclose any personal information, and it's best not to ask the same to your online chatter. A stranger could use to possibly take opportunity of these gathered into and use it for his or her advantage. You don't have to give out a fake name, but remember to be weary when giving out your address, place of work, or other sensitive information your credit card numbers, SS number, or even your mobile phone number.

Tell About Your Date Before Leaving:
No matter how much we want to assure ourselves that we are safe in blind dates, but reality is that you could get into trouble with only one incident. Remember to tell a good friend or relative of the exact location of your date, just in case something happens and the police would be looking for you.
Grab a photo – Be sure to get a photo of your date before you would meet. To make sure about the authenticity of the picture, try asking him or her some questions such as where and when was the picture taken. Don't forget to save the picture in an accessible part of the computer.

Hear The Voice Behind The Face:
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a conversation before meeting on a blind date either by asking for his phone You can tell a lot about a person by the way they communicate. Follow your gut and examine if he or she is worth the meet.

Meet In A Public Place:
Choose a comfortable meeting place like a café or an open park. This alleviates tension between the two of you, and at the same time provides a good setting for an early getaway just in case you don't like the date at all. Talk to him at a location where there are a lot of people (as they can become instant witnesses in case of a bad date).

Create Another Way To Get Home:
There could be cases that your date would even follow you to your home or would even attempt to harm you. So, take an alternative route to your home or have him or her meet at a location away from your place or places.

Know Your Online Date's Sexual History:
Protect your body against sexually-transmitted diseases and HIV by establishing a front line of queries. Know the status of your online partner, keeping in mind that some men lie about their sickness. If you encounter an online date that tends to refuse to answer about their health, their last STD test, or the number of sexual partners they have been with, and even unwilling to have sex with a condom, then dump him or her.

GottaFindLove.com

Asking Someone Out On A Date

2007-12-01T13:53:00.000-08:00

If you like someone and want to know them more, you may have to ask them for a date. This is a standard practice for men, and it is increasingly becoming common among women. If you have someone in mind that you would love to go out with, breathe deeply and follow these guidelines.

Ask Yourself First:
Know why you are asking them out and if it is for the right reasons. Recognize your expectations as a result of them saying yes or no.

Saying No Is A Possibility:
Be prepared that the person you ask may say no. If this happens, do not take the rejection personally and do not chase them as well. They maybe thinking of things and get back to you with a “yes” later.

Choose The Right Moment:
See to it that the person you are asking is in a light mood. At certain instances, do not approach them when they are stressed out after work, while eating, or while with a group of friends.

Practice What You Should Say:
Don’t think of the cheesiest pick-up line imaginable. A simple “Hi! My name is…and I was wondering if you are free for lunch today?” is enough. Practice what you might say in advance so that you don’t appear tongue-tied.

Avoid Asking Them Out While Drunk:
You may think that taking a shot before asking would boost your courage level, actually it’s not. It would backfire, too.

Prepare The Place, Date, And Time, In Advance:
Before asking them out, be sure that you already have an idea where and when your date would be, just in case they say yes. In this way, you are showing that you are thoughtful.

Create A Sense Of Trust Immediately:
If the person asks you why you want to date them, flatter about his or her personality. People can be wary and may want to know some reason behind your request. You can say, “I have always thought you are great fun…”

Do Not Pressure Them Into Saying Yes:
If they want to think about it, let them. But don’t chase.

Smile:
Bring out your positive personality. Be confident and happy to elicit a far more positive response.

Prepare For An Alternative Schedule:
If they are unsure about their schedule, or your proposed date schedule conflicts theirs, provide a different date and time or location.

Intend To Go On Your Date:
Standing people up is a definite no-no in dating.

GottaFindLove.com

How To Be A Top Flirt

2007-11-01T06:17:00.000-07:00

Flirting: "To play at love, without serious intentions."

It is often done to arouse sexual interest in another person. Flirting is fun; it is just kidding around. Have the intention of fun and nothing else. It is not serious, so you cant do anything wrong! It is kind of a joke about what they're doing; with which you tease them and kid them about. Remember: You dont have to do the right thing, because you are just kidding.

Your FRAME OF MIND is very important in flirting. Don't try to be a flirt. Skills of flirting come automatically to you from your sub-consciousness if you just loosen yourself and have a positive approach of mind.
Flirting Tips

1. Focus outward. Keep your attention outside yourself, toward a particular flirting target or toward the general social environment. You can't flirt while you're self-absorbed.

2. While flirting, follow up with a helpful comment. That helps them know you are kind, not just light-heartedly rude.

3. Body Language: Straighten up, good posture, shoulders relaxed, arms uncrossed, lean forward slightly.

4. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.

5. Compliment. Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise. The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed them. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When you receive a compliment the best response is merely to say Thank You!

6. Use your eyes. Whether in conversation or across the room, look at your target's eyes a little longer than necessary, and keep a small smile on your own face while you do that.

7. Smile. It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable. A smile lights up your face and draws people to you.

GottaFindLove.com

The 12 Mistakes of Dating Again

2007-10-01T06:29:00.000-07:00

The 12 Mistakes of Dating Again
By Tom Blake

Most men and women who re-enter the dating world are rusty. It's natural for them to be nervous and make mistakes. Here are 12 of the most common ones. Keep them in mind on your next date and you'll improve your chances of being successful.

1. Being late. Everybody's time is valuable. Arriving late makes a poor impression. It shows selfishness and a lack of organization, and gets the date off on the wrong foot.

2. Being too serious. People forget to relax, laugh, smile and enjoy themselves. They may come off as too rigid, when in fact they have much to offer.

3. Talking too much. New daters lack confidence; talking covers up uncomfortable silences. Talking too much about former spouses and lovers is especially bad.

4. Not listening. One person is talking, but the other's mind is elsewhere. When the talker says, "What are your thoughts on that?" it's embarrassing to have to ask that person to repeat what he or she was talking about.

5. Blaming others. People blame their bosses for getting fired; their ex-spouses for failed marriages; their parents for not bringing them up right. Soon, however, they may be blaming their date -- for not going out with them again!

6. Putting on false airs. People try to be someone they're not. They talk a good game, but later can't deliver because they aren't who they said they were.

7. Being negative. Some people are down on this and down on that -- they don't have enough money, they don't feel well, they're unlucky. People will avoid them and seek others who are more positive.

8. Gender-bashing. Women say, "Men only want younger women." Men say, "Women only want money." Soon, a gender basher will be complaining about the empty seat across the table where his or her date had been sitting.

9. Asking leading questions about a person's assets. "What kind of a car do you drive?" Do you own your own home?" "Is that a real diamond?" "Do you live on Rodeo Drive?" These are all red-flag questions. Be interested, but getting too personal sends the wrong signal.

10. Sounding desperate. Statements like, "This is my first date in 35 years" or "No one ever asks me out" might be a turnoff to someone who was otherwise interested in you.

11. Being dishonest. It's a short-sighted strategy. Sooner or later, the truth will catch up. Besides, it's easier to be honest than to try to remember what fib you told a week ago.

12. Being argumentative. Discussing politics or religion is risky. If you pick a fight on the first date, you'll be shadow boxing on the second. Most people don't like confrontation.

Remember to be yourself. Relax, have a good time. If you make a mistake, it's OK, you're human. Apologize, make a small joke like, "Wow, I'm a bit rusty," and don't worry about it. By being aware of the mistakes that might turn off a date, you'll make the outing more pleasant for both of you.

Tom Blake is the author of Middle Aged and Dating Again (Tooter's, 1997) and host of the ThirdAge Dating After 50 discussion.

GottaFindLove.com

Date or Soul Mate?: How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less

2007-09-01T06:30:00.000-07:00

In this revised edition of "How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less", a clinical psychologist supplies time-tested principles and guidelines to eliminate the uncertainty and pain of dead-end dating.

ORDER NOW!

GottaFindLove.com

Phone Call Rules

2007-08-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

By Gary Jackson
Relationship Correspondent from AskMen

Women love the phone. To some, curling up with a glass of wine and the phone is the equivalent of us men hitting the pool hall. To guys, the phone is an alien world -- one that we visit as rarely and briefly as possible. And when we do make a call, we often feel like a fish out of water, which is perhaps why calling women is sometimes daunting.

But, the harsh reality is that making the phone call is needed if you want to succeed with women. In order to help you navigate your way through one of the most danger-fraught areas of dating, I’ve developed a guide of some basic phone call rules.

Wait two days to call
The first phone call rule to consider is when to call. Call too soon and you’ll reek of desperation; call too late and she may have lost all interest in you. Although some guys claim that the timing has to be precise -- almost to the hour -- you do have some margin for error.

If you've just acquired her number, wait at least two days before calling. Don't make the mistake of calling her the very next day just to let her know that you're interested -- she'll think you have no real life to get on with. But don't wait too long -- make that call within four days, before she gets angry or, worse, forgets who you are. Nothing is more humiliating than trying to jog her memory with the happenings of the night that you met: "I met you the other day; the funny guy with the cornflower blue tie..."

Once you enter the dating phase of the relationship, this phone call rule becomes more relaxed. After a date, always call within two days. You don’t have to arrange another date with this call; it can be made simply to thank her for a good time. It's also a good chance to gauge her interest level.

Have a reason for your call
This phone call rule states that you should always have a reason to call her. Women love to sit on the phone and chat the hours away, but they should do this with friends, not you, Romeo. Call her up with a purpose in mind; it can be as simple as to check or confirm something. For example, if she’s a fashionista, you can call her for some style pointers. Throughout the conversation take charge of it and steer it. Don't let her spin it and go off on a tangent; what starts as a simple mention of a seafood restaurant can turn into her recounting all the fishing trips that her dad dragged her on.

After three or so months, the phone call rules deem it acceptable to be more spontaneous in making a call. You still must have a reason for it, but the reason needn’t be as rigid as it was in the earlier stages. You can call her to tell her about a movie you just saw or how the business trip is going, but it's still forbidden to let her know that you’re calling just to hear her voice. If you must do this, have a fake reason to call, no matter how transparent it is -- besides, she’ll likely find it endearing.

While you are steering the talk, don't treat it like a call to your buddy: "Beer. Eight o'clock. See ya." Women need some substance in a call -- a little bit of padding, if you will.

Keep it brief
So, aside from the real reason for the call, what do you talk about? Ideally, you are calling to get to a point, keep it sweet and get out of there. Keep in mind that this is the warm-up for the date, not a date through technology, so do most of the talking in person. In the real world, however, she will want to talk for a while. Indulge her desire, but adhere to this phone call rule: Keep it short, with her wanting more.

GottaFindLove.com

Writing A Great Personal Ad Or Profile: Part 1

2007-07-01T18:07:00.000-07:00

Whether you are writing a personal ad to be published in a newspaper or creating a profile to be posted online, you are creating a marketing tool. The product you are selling is yourself. Creating a great ad means persuading others to "buy into" your beliefs about yours strengths and attributes.

Conveniently, many online dating sites provide templates and questionnaires that act as guidelines so you can quickly create a personal ad. Sometimes the site will create your profile or ad by asking you to respond with a short essay. Writing more rather than less is always a good idea as it allows others to find you via a keyword search engine. Internet dating experts say that profiles with just a few sentences in them tend to get passed over for lengthier submissions.

Whether you are writing a personal ad or a profile it is important for you to describe yourself as honestly as possible. Most sites ask you for hard data such as your height, weight, body type, eye color, religion, smoking preferences, educational background and profession. In the body of your ad it is a good idea to describe any hobbies or interests that you may have, interests or activities that you enjoy and whether or not you like to travel. Don't share too much information. Write enough just to pique their interest.

Studies also show that profiles and ads that boast a slight personal touch attract more responses than one that is cold or too factual. Although humor plays an important component, try not to sound cynical or sarcastic (especially about yourself.) Be humble, yet stay away from self-deprecating humor such as "I'm so ugly I haven't had a date in ten years" or lines that put down the reader such as "If you are reading this you must be a loser like me."

As you compose your profile try to convey a description of yourself that is easily related to by other people. Good approaches include describing who you are, where you want to go in life, what makes you laugh, things you enjoy, pet peeves and what your friends call you as a nickname.

Acceptable words and phrases to use when describing yourself are sophisticated, loving, generous, cute, reliable, my colleagues describe me as handsome, great legs, petite, curvaceous, hourglass figure, affectionate, likes to cuddle, interested in a committed relationship, sensitive, great cook, romantic, caring, monogamous, down to earth, looking for best friend, educated and gentleman.

GottaFindLove.com

Writing A Great Personal Ad Or Profile: Part 2

2007-06-01T18:05:00.000-07:00

Words and phrases to avoid (even if they do seem like a good idea at the time) are well hung, great in bed, I'd love to satisfy you, sexually insatiable, animal, great lover, make love, erotic, uninhibited and any other sexual connotations.

Also make sure to check your profile for spelling and grammar mistakes as that is one way people tend to judge a profile. You don't want to appear illiterate even if the mistakes are just the result of being a one-fingered typist.

Although profiles and ads are created to impress other people, do your best not to create a false impression:

Don't lie about your height, weight or other matters. Don't say you are interested in the stock market to attract a rich man or that you are interested in raves to attract a young girl. If you have children, say so in the ad. Be yourself and see what the universe sends your way. Believe it or not, there are people out there who will probably like you for what you are, not who you think they think you should be.

Personal ads and profiles are not the place to write bitter or sarcastic remarks or make excuses for being single. It is assumed by the reader that the past is over and done with and that you are posting this profile or ad in order to make a fresh start with someone new.

It is also traditional to include a bit of information about what kind of person you are hoping will respond to your ad. An example would be "I am looking for a cultured, well-educated man who enjoys drives in the countryside and going to the movies." It also helps to state whether or not you are looking for friendship, a casual relationship or a marriage partner. It is a good idea not to overdo this particular section because if you set down too many requirements you may limit yourself in terms of potential mates.

It is up to you to whether or not you want to post a photo to augment your profile or personal ad. Internet dating experts say that posting a photo can increase the response rate to your ad by at least ten times. It is human nature for others to want to see with whom exactly they are about to begin a correspondence. Also if you don't have a picture, there is the risk that others may ignore your profile because they think you are hiding something about yourself. If you don't have a photo it is OK to give them an idea of what you look like by dropping the name of a celebrity that you closely resemble.

Remember to post your best photos and write the most charming and accurate ad that you can. Remember, this first impression may be your only chance to attract a soul mate.

GottaFindLove.com

First Date Do's And Don'ts

2007-05-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

Things To Do:

1. Be on time - The last thing you want to do is make a bad impression on your date. If you are late then your date will think that you don't care or that he/she isn't important. Even worse, your date might not hang around for you to turn up.

2. Make your partner feel comfortable - We all feel like a bag of nerves on our first date with someone; so by making your date feel comfortable you will be able to also relax and simply enjoy yourself.

3. Be an interesting date - The worse thing you can do is turn up for a date with someone then sit there all night with nothing to say or ask! Be prepared to be interesting and to have a good conversation. Show you are interesting (and a good listener) by asking questions that help you learn interesting things about your date. Dress great. Take great care in your hygiene. Don't reveal too much about yourself, but reveal just enough to show the other person that you are interesting and different - in a good way.

4. Laugh at their jokes - Even if you have heard the joke 100 times or more (or it just isn't funny at all) laughing a long with your date will make your date feel you are interested in him/her. It will at least make your date feel more comfortable with the situation.

5. Keep the conversation alive - That dreaded silence when no one knows what to say can seem to last for a life time and will make both of you think the other is boring. Jot down a few questions you would like to ask (but don't refer to the list during your date!). Practicing for the date can make quite a bit of difference and once you have started a great conversation, the rest will just follow. Here are a few conversation starters you may want to use.

6. Take an interest in your date - Listen to your date when he/she is talking. Be interested in what your date has to say and show how interested you are by asking questions about what your date is talking about. For example, if your date says he/she likes to travel then ask him/her what the most unique place is he/she has traveled to.

7. Take your date somewhere unique - First dates don't just have to be about going to the cinema or to a restaurant for a nice meal. You will make a longer, lasting impression if you are imaginative with your date. Check out these creative date ideas and these first date ideas .

8. Be confident - Confidence says a lot about a person. Being more confident will help you get through that first date with ease.

9. Be yourself - You won't fool anyone by pretending to be someone you are not.

10. Most importantly - STAY SAFE. Check out our pointers to dating safely.

Things Not To Do:

1. Be late - First impressions count and if you are late then this will make your date think of you as lazy, having lack of initiative, or not putting an importance on the evening.

2. Talk about yourself all night - There is nothing worse then a person that loves to talk about himself or herself all the time. Be the one asking the questions!

3. Talk about past relationships - Maybe that's how you lost the last one. Nobody wants to hear you drone on about your ex and what he or she did or didn't do. Concentrate on your date and see if you can get to the second date.

4. Eat with your mouth open - This will not only create a negative impression of you to your date, but also to other people around you.

5. Ask too many personal questions - This is your first date and your date may not want to reveal too much about himself/herself just yet. If you like each other and want to continue with the relationship then there will be plenty of time to ask more intimate questions.

6. Try to be someone you are not - It's important to be yourself as you don't want other people to settle for anything different. Trying to act like someone you are not will only backfire in the future.

7. Forget to thank them for the date - It is good manners and etiquette to thank your date for the evening. If you don't want to go on a date again, this is where you will get your chance to end it. If you do, then this is your chance to ask your date out on another date.

8. Propose marriage or kids - Unless you don't want to see them again.

9. Pursue sex ; especially after your partner has said no.

10. Get drunk - You don't want to spend half the night in the toilet vomiting and your date won't think much of you. You can also put yourself at risk of unwanted advances and will not be in the right frame of mind or body to do anything about it.

GottaFindLove.com

First Date Advice - What To Do On Your First Date

2007-04-01T18:36:00.000-07:00

Choosing something to do on a first date can be very difficult. You and your date do not know each other and this means that you do not know what they do and do not like doing. Ask your date what they would like to do, but if they do not have any suggestion be decisive and make a suggestion, like your favorite restaurant. Make sure they understand what type of place it is and make sure it is ok with them. If not, be flexible and maybe suggest somewhere else or ask them where they would like.

First Date Advice - First date preparation

A little preparation for your first date will go a long way. You should prepare in advanced the following for your first date:

Prepare how you are getting to the location of your first date. If you have never been there before, it might be worth going there a couple of days before hand so you know how long it will take to get there and the exact location of it. If it is bar or restaurant maybe go in and check it out so you are familiar with it.

Prepare what you are going to wear for your first date. Decide what you are going to wear a couple of days in advanced and
make sure it fits. This will give you time to go and get something else if there is a problem with it.

Prepare something to talk about on your first date. Always make sure you have something to talk about to fill any awkward gaps in the conversation.

First Date Advice - Top tips for a first date

You want everything to go just right on your first date, so here are some first date top tips, keep them in mind and your first date should go well.

Be clean, well groomed and dress appropriately for where you are going.

Be on time for your date. Being late for any date is not good, but for a first date it is definitely out of the question. Being late for a first date will show a lack of respect for your date.

Be decisive about what to do on your date, but remain flexible, if your date does not like your idea, ask them what or where they would prefer.

Prepare something to talk about.

Be flirty with your date, but get it right.

Do not openly argue with your date's ideas or points of view. If you do not agree with something they are talking about, try and subtly change the topic of conversation.

Never talk or text on your mobile phone, unless it is to order a taxi or something similar.

Do not give up on yourself or your date before you have given it a chance. Remember you are both nervous.

Enjoy yourself.

GottaFindLove.com

Safety Tips To Online Meeting

2007-03-01T15:01:00.000-08:00

Be Cautious:
Don't be overly cautious, but be sure you talk to them on the phone before meeting; use instinct and good sense.

Don't Give Your Address or Full Name:
Your first name, and your phone number should be enough. But maybe you want to save your phone number until you've chatted with them a couple times online, that depends on your situation. You can build trust with someone on the 'net just like in real life, but, as in real life, it just takes time.

Tell Someone Where You Are Going:
This could be a friend you trust, or a relative if that would be ok. It's important because in the unlikely event that something happens, they can find you.

Use Your Own Transportation:
It's important to go in your own car or by public transportation. Don't go in cars with people you don't know yet.

Meet In A Public Place:
Meet someplace public, a cafe or mall, etc. That gives you a chance to check them out and see if they're trustworthy and if they're who and what they say they are before you go someplace else.

Walk If They Lied:
If someone is not who/what they said they were, and the lie is serious, then you shouldn't feel guilty for leaving.

Don't Drink, etc.:
Never drink or do drugs when on a date. That leads to impaired judgment and loss of control.

Don't Go To Private Places Until You Know Them:
Use common sense. Need we say more?

Bring Protection:
If you think there is any chance of having sex, bring protection and remember safe sex is always important.

GottaFindLove.com

Privacy & Use Agreement

2007-02-01T20:15:00.000-08:00

We take every member's privacy very serious - as if it were information about ourselves. Likewise, we monitor our services and demand that each member follow our terms of use strictly. Without your trust, we're just another Web site!

Have fun and we wish you the bestsuccess!

GottaFindLove.com

10 Reasons Why Online Gay Personal Ads Are Great!

2007-01-01T07:47:00.000-08:00

Here's my top 10 Reasons why online personal ads are a great way to meet new gay guys!
1. Costs less to post a personal ad online than a personal ad in your typical newspaper classifieds.

2. You can upload photos to accompany your online personal ad. This typically increases browsing and response rates tremendously.

3. More variety and a wider reach of men are available to you online, than a local personal ads column or your local bar.

4. The men cruising the online personal ads sites are more receptive to meeting new guys, than a lot of other offline social situations.

5. You don't have to be a great dancer, strain your ear drums, or nurse a hangover to meet cute guys.

6. You're able to include a lot more information about yourself in an online personal ad than a tiny newspaper classified ad.

7. You're able to find out more information about a prospective guy in an online personal ad than a tiny newspaper classified ad.

8. You can take the time to get to know the guy better, before you decide if you want to go out with him for a date.

9. Many gay personals sites offer multiple ways to connect with prospective guys; including, in-house e-mail systems, (so you don't have to reveal your e-mail until you're ready), instant messaging, chat rooms, and video chat.

10. It works - Hundreds of thousands of single gay men like you have hooked up into the relationship of their choice online.

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2006-12-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

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2006-02-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

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